BREATH AND BREATHING NOTES 
JULY 2005 
Hello Breathers, 
The past month has been filled with wonder and beauty! The fire at our place in New Bedford was such a clear ending and such an obvious beginning. Life is moving at an entirely new level, and it is amazing! 
So, some news: The Spirit of Breath seems to have taken up residence Lithuania! The gathering out in the forest near Vilnius from June 14-22 was one of the most powerful and beautiful breathing events I have ever witnessed. There was love in the air and miracles by the hour; Babaji’s energy was everywhere, and the Divine Mother’s grace was clearly behind it all! 
On three occasions during the week, the group literally danced the rain and clouds away! Over 120 people participated in the 4-day Basic Training and over 50 people took part in the 3-day Advanced Training. 25 people completed the Basic Practitioner Program that was organized in November; and it appears that over 30 people will take part in the 1-Year Professional Training that begins in September. There are too many people to thank and to acknowledge, so I’ll just send you to the “Three Jewels” website, where you can get a feel for the love and light that this amazing spiritual community is bringing to life and the world. (Visit: www.dharma.lt) 
The stop in Estonia was equally wonderful. About 30 of us gathered out on a small private island in the Baltic Sea, an island with an extraordinary history and ancient energy: no electricity, just pure water, perfect weather, and pristine nature... The event was so powerfully healing on so many levels. The most profound lesson for me was the purifying aspect of love. I think it was Sondra Ray who once said: “Love brings up anything unlike itself.” 
That was surely shown to be true in the wake of our gathering there! It reminded me again that when life pushes or pulls us out of our limited comfort zone—in either the direction of pain or pleasure, of joy or sadness, of freedom or safety… our unconscious defenses get triggered. The lesson is that “intensity” is the challenge. Our body-mind, our psyche, our ego-system often doesn’t seem to know the difference: it reacts in the same way to love as it does to fear! No wonder in Chinese medicine, it is taught that too much happiness is just as disturbing to our “chi” as too much sadness. That’s why they teach that extremes of both should be avoided. We were all reminded that simple awareness, relaxation, and the ability to breathe, is so important! 
Thank you to Kretel for organizing this unforgettable event, and for being such a source of love and inspiration to me; and to Solve and Talvi for their healing presence, and to everyone who participated! And thank you also to everyone at Lilleoru—the Babaji Ashram in Estonia, for creating the space for another extraordinary healing event there following our seminar on the island. (Visit: www.lilleoru.ee) 

Next on the schedule is Toronto (July 15-19). You might want to catch a recent radio interview I did. It will be re-broadcast on the web: www.natradio.com on Saturday July 9; 11am Eastern Standard Time. And again on Sunday July 10, at 11:30 am EST. 
From July 21-31 I’ll be in Buenos Aires, Argentina. 
For the month of August, I’ll be offering training in the USA. 
In September, it’s back to the Hill That Breathes in Italy, to Paris, and to Lithuania. 
(Visit www.breathmastery.com for complete schedule and registration information.) 
I missed the GIC in St. Petersburg this year, but I would love to hear from anyone who attended. So, that’s the news for the moment. 
I have decided to include here, a recent communication with Jean-Marc in France. Using a question and answer format, he has begun to pull a book out of me. We are calling this particular excerpt “Sex and Breathing.” (If you’d like to contribute any questions, you are welcome.) 
Love and blessings to all, 
Dan 
DHIMAT: 
Since we've been talking about love and all related topics – and more specifically about sexual and romantic love - how do you believe breathworkers should handle any sexual urges or sexual desire during breathwork sessions, whether in their client or in themselves, or both? How do you believe this should be dealt with? I think you have a very liberal outlook on the whole issue, whereas the position of my Rebirthing Trainers in France, which seems to be the majority opinion - is that only strict abstinence is OK, and that any personal involvement of any kind between therapist and patient should be strictly avoided - the classical Freudian position, basically. This is also included in most breathworkers' professional codes of ethics. It's obviously a very controversial subject, with all of the possible criminal lawsuits which can possibly stem from such situations, especially given the reality and possibility of negative transference. This is obviously quite a loaded issue, one with potentially very dangerous and painful consequences, to the extent that it's almost taboo to even consider or mention any differing opinion. I'd like to know what your experiences have been in this respect - if you don't mind sharing that with us - and what they have led you to believe? 
Dan: 
Ah yes, the question of sex! You’re right: few issues come with as much fear, denial, judgment, doubt, confusion, and dishonesty. Few topics are more loaded with hidden agendas, more laden with ulterior motives, more driven by unquestioned beliefs, and deep conditioning. And for the most part, few questions trigger so much blind adherence to rigid authorities and heavy dogmas. And to complicate things even further, the 

question of sex is often a ruse. Almost everyone with a position on the subject has a particular axe to grind. The topic is so rich; we could write several books on it. And frankly, I don’t know where to start. But since you asked for it… off the top of my head… here goes: 
Sex touches our lives and affects our relationships on every level: spiritual, energetic, emotional, psychological, physical, transpersonal, interpersonal, social, political, cultural, religious... Sexual energy awakens everything from our innocent inner child and our deepest spiritual longings to arrogant self-righteousness and shallow political correctness. It is so powerful and yet so unexplored: it can send even the most self-assured, self-directed, sincere and seasoned spiritual breather running for the cover of group-think and community approval. 
Sexual energy is so very powerful. Like fire, it can create or destroy. And the topic pushes so many hot buttons that it’s no wonder so many breathworkers feel that the best thing to do about it, the safest thing, is to not go near it. It’s best to build a moral wall around it, to contain it at all cost, and by all means, definitely keep it out of the process. Yet sexual energy is awakened in every single breathing session, without exception! This energy lives right between our survival and power centers (charkas). So unless we hope to skip this step in our evolution, or we are satisfied to let this energy be controlled and manipulated by unconscious power and survival patterns, then we simply must open to the purity of it, and deal with it. Breathworkers would do well to get comfortable with their own sexual energy and that of others; they’d do well to get over their own hang ups around it, and they’d do well to heal themselves with it, when life offers the opportunity to do so. 
But before we begin, I want to address the terms “breathwork” and “breathworker.” Many years ago, Phil Laut, an old friend and one of the early rebirthers, stopped using the term “rebirthing” to describe his practice. At the time, people were beginning to do all sorts of crazy things under the guise of rebirthing, and he considered some of it to be downright dangerous. I can remember him saying: “I don’t even want to be mentioned in the same paragraph as so-and-so.” I can relate to that. I started calling myself a breathworker in 1977, and today I’m not even sure what some people are talking about when they claim to do Breathwork! So I find myself looking for my own term. For now, I’ve settled on to “Spiritual Breathing.” So when I use the term rebirthing or breathwork, please know that I’m referring to what I do and what I teach, what I practice and preach. 
There are tens of thousands of people around the world teaching breathwork in one form or another, one style or another, one approach or another. This is good. Each practitioner should bring their own abilities and talents, knowledge and skills to the process. When a massage therapist does breathwork, it looks different than when a talk therapist does it. When a golf pro or a musician uses breathwork, it looks different than when a martial artist or a pastoral counselor uses it. When a sex therapist practices breathwork, it looks different than when a substance abuse counselor practices it. When it’s used to improve public speaking, it’s different than when it’s used to aid in childbirth. That’s the beauty of 

breathwork: it has universal applications. And that is also the challenge of breathwork: there will never be a single set of rules that can be applied across the board to everyone. 
I meet every kind of person on this path. And many of them turn out to be more advanced in some ways, or more together on some levels than I am! And so I might recommend one thing for one person and something different for another. I have learned not to approach individuals with preconceived notions about their abilities or limits, or mine for that matter. No matter what was true in the last moment, anything is possible in the next! Every session is a unique opportunity for everyone to take another step toward the One. 
I don’t pretend to know anyone’s problems, and I don’t pretend to be able to fix them. I don’t care what a person’s story is, and I don’t care how they fit me into it. I don’t buy into the labels that have been put onto them by the experts, and I don’t buy into the labels that they have put onto themselves. I don’t assume to know what a person needs, or what is best for them. I trust that everyone already knows that. (In fact, it’s that knowing that leads me to them!) I try to meet each soul on whatever level they are at. And I am willing to go wherever their sacred process leads them. (In fact, it’s that willingness that leads them to me!) 
You are right; I do have what you might call a very liberal approach to this work. Liberal refers to freedom, and when it comes to freedom, my commitment to it is total. This is also true of my commitment to love and to life, and to everyone I breathe with. And that is another important distinction: for some people breathwork is like a hobby, or a 9 to 5 job. It’s something that they do only with certain people at certain times, or for a certain reason: money or service or pleasure or learning. They slip into a certain mode or they assume a certain role for a time: and when the client leaves, they go back to their normal lives, to being their normal selves. But for me breathwork is not just a hobby or a job, it is my lifework. It is my calling. I do it out of love. And it’s not just what I do, it’s who I am. It is my way of being in the world, my way of loving myself and others. 
And so, on to the question: On the face of it, the question is silly and the answer is obvious. If I hire you to fix my computer, I don’t expect you to show up with a bucket and a ladder and find you painting my garage. If you are paying me to teach you how to use your breath as a tool for health, growth and change, then you shouldn’t be expecting me to mow your lawn, wash your car, or to satisfy your sexual urges. 
If you have trained with me, worked with me, or have been to my seminars—if you do spiritual breathing—then you already know the answer to that question and to every question. The answer is: you trust the divine presence within you. You honor the sacred process in yourself and in the one you are with. In all cases, at all times, in all situations, regardless of what your reactive/emotional mind thinks or feels or wants or fears… and regardless of what other people may think or say: you listen to your heart of hearts—you follow the voice of spirit—the voice of love. 
What do we do about sexual thoughts and feelings that arise during the process? In practice, we do the same thing as with any thoughts and feelings that arise during the 

process. Nothing! When powerful thoughts and feelings come up, when urges and reactions play out, we simply continue breathing and relaxing. We allow the thoughts and feelings to come and go and we observe our urges and our automatic reactions to them. We simply breathe and relax into them, through them, with them, or even in spite of them! The answer is: we simply breathe and relax and remain conscious: open, empty and free. Nothing more. Nothing less. Period. End of story. 
In business, the seller has a clear product or service to offer; and the buyer has every right to get exactly what they pay for. In a business relationship both sides have certain expectations, certain legal and ethical obligations. And in the commercial world, there are structures already in place to deal with the issues of consumer protection, breach of contract, non-delivery of service, non-payment of funds, false advertising, fraud, theft, etc. So in establishing a professional breathwork practice, we don’t need to re-invent the wheel or re-state the obvious. We only need to be clear about who we are and why we are here. (But those are the big questions in life, aren’t they!) 
So here’s one of the first problems I see: trying to treat breathwork like a business. If you are motivated only by money, and ruled only by a code of professional ethics, then in my view, you are the worst kind of breathworker: and frankly I am not even interested in sharing with you what I have learned about sex and breathing. I don’t want you leading a community, and I don’t want you telling people that you are my associate, my student, or my apprentice. Sorry. 
You hit the next nail right on the head when you referred to breathwork in terms of “therapist and patient.” So please allow me to shout this mantra from the rooftops: BREATHWORK IS NOT PSYCHOTHERAPY! And breathworkers should not make themselves out to be psychotherapists. Certainly spiritual breathing is one of the most naturally therapeutic processes of our time, and it is putting a lot of psychotherapists out of business, but it is not therapy. And although breathwork is profoundly spiritual in nature, it is not religion. In my view, trying to squeeze breathwork into these old molds and models only serves to weaken it, pollute it, or pervert it. 
I have been following the rebirthing-breathwork movement since its inception, and it appears to me that, especially in Europe, the movement has been taken over by the psychotherapy community. In fact, breathwork has become almost synonymous with psychotherapy there and elsewhere. But psychotherapy is simply too narrow a way, too limiting a box in which to accommodate the power and potential of genuine breathwork. And the art of spiritual breathing is still in its infancy: so I think it is way too early to try to cage it, or tame it, or shape it, or force it into conforming to even the best brands of psychotherapy. 
For example in the world of therapy, it is strictly forbidden for the client to become the therapist. This would violate all the power and boundary and transference issues that you mention. In psychotherapy, there is no invitation for the doctor to become the patient, for the student to become the teacher, for the healer to become the healee. But in breathwork, this does and should happen all the time! It’s one of the things that makes rebirthing the 

most beautiful, powerful, and unique healing and growth practices in the world today. And unlike psychotherapy, good breathworkers can be trained in a matter of weeks or months, not years. 
You also note that in psychotherapy, “personal involvement” should be strictly avoided. And yet nothing is—or should be—more personal, more intimate than breathwork! Real intimacy takes us beyond sex, beyond the level of body and mind, beyond the level of personality… to the level of Essence. Psychotherapy is simply not designed to do that. In fact because of its strict adherence to roles and rules and forms and methods, because of its defensive positions and rigid boundaries, it actually makes this evolutionary shift utterly impossible. Good therapists can help us to reduce our stress and anxiety and can point us in that direction, but it cannot take us there, it cannot take us to the next level. 
But don’t get me wrong, I’ve taught breathwork to several hundred psychologists and psychiatrists. And in my view, one who practices conscious breathing is an infinitely better healer than one who doesn’t. A good counselor or therapist who has also learned to open and surrender to the breath of life, and is able to support others in doing the same, is one of the most valuable friends you are likely to find. I’ve gotten a lot of good therapy in exchange for my work over the years. And many of my best and most respected friends and colleagues are psychotherapists! 
So if someone thinks they need therapy, let them find a good therapist. But if someone wants to breathe and relax with love and support; and from a place of awareness and power, move a higher level of being, let them find a good breathworker. And in each case, let those individuals determine the depth and breadth of their sacred relationship. Let those individuals decide on the unique scope and the range of their sacred process. 
The art and science of breathwork was born outside the box of conventional thinking, methods, ethics and standards—precisely because those things were not supporting us enough in our process of personal and planetary awakening. To try and turn breathwork back around and put it under those former limits is counter-productive to its natural evolution. Spiritual breathing is an intuitive skill. It is a unique, creative, moment-to-moment way of being. It is an entirely new way of relating to life, to one’s self, to others, and to the world. It is unlike any other form of healing work. And absolutely no two breathing sessions are ever the same. 
The mainstream mind has almost no idea of what breathwork is. And the best that most of us can do is to say what it’s like: we say it is “like this” or “like that.” And so some breathworkers seek the comfort and safety of the known—the aura of respectability that comes from associating with the already familiar methods; they hide behind recognized names and roles and forms and styles. I think it’s because they’re afraid of the unknown, the uncharted, the unknowable. They don’t trust in life enough, or in themselves enough; they don’t trust in the purity of the process; they don’t trust in love. 
Spiritual breathing works because of and through the power of love: pure, conscious, active, total, unconditional love. Many breathworkers pay lip service to this principle, but 

in reality—in practice—they default to something else, something less. The greatest gift that anyone can give to another is to be totally trusting, totally present, totally available, totally committed, totally open and totally honest… So you can see that it takes courage, real emotional courage, to be a breathworker. Relying on the approval of others, bowing to a group’s thoughts and beliefs, may keep you safely in the arms of social acceptance, but it does not lead to awakening and liberation. Trusting your spirit, following your heart, daring to be real in each moment… this leads to self-realization and total liberation. 
A word about personal issues, about personalities and the word person: It comes from the Greek “persona” which means mask! No wonder spirit is no respecter of persons! Most people have come to believe that their thoughts and feelings and emotions—that their minds and bodies—form who they are. (Most people are so identified with their personality, that unless you relate to it, they don’t experience that you are relating to them!) Psychotherapy simply cannot take us beyond the level of personality. It serves only to balance and heal our personalities, or to help us to be more comfortable in them, or accepting of them. Of course this is very important. Emotionally and psychologically balanced persons, healthy minds and bodies, stable and secure personas, make for good citizens; they also make for powerful and dependable instruments of love and life. 
I’ve been quoted as saying that both Jesus and Buddha had emotional and psychological problems. I’ve also said that we don’t need get rid of these things in order to be free, to become enlightened. We will always have physiological, emotional and psychological issues and challenges. They come with being human. They will never go away. And so if we make these things the focus of our work, then the work will never end! That’s why one can be in therapy for years or obey a religion for life, and still not glimpse the truth of one’s being, still not gain a direct experience of our essence. 
Yet this is exactly the promise of spiritual breathing, the results of rebirthing-breathwork. Through the practice, we don’t make our thoughts, feelings or emotions go away, we don’t get rid of our urges and reactions; we simply change the way that we relate to these things. And in so doing, we free ourselves from them. In fact, they seem to fall away on their own. And in their place, the possibility of Buddhahood, of Christhood opens to us. 
I took part in forming and wording the professional breathworker code of ethics that you refer to. But at the time, we agreed that these ideas were meant simply to be suggestions, merely general guidelines. And yet in reality, as you have seen, they are held out as moral obligations and strict commandments. I don’t want to be a part of that. It is one of the reasons that I have quietly bowed out of all the IBF and IBTA politics. 
When it comes to the question of sex, (as well as any question for that matter) we need to learn how to make our decisions by using something other than the reactive, emotional, or conditioned mind. (It’s called listening to the heart!) And as this ability develops in us, and as we trust it more and more, then doubt and confusion and conflict simply dissolve. And we finally meet ourselves and each other in what Rumi called “a field beyond right and wrong.” And it is in that space that we awaken to the fact that we are surrounded and protected by love; and that we are living in a state of grace… Of course this is a scary 

incomprehensible place for the ego to dwell; but it is truly home for the soul. This seemingly mystical state is one of the real benefits of spiritual breathing; one of the results of actually practicing (and not just talking about) heart-centered breathwork. 
Well my friend, there is a lot more to say on the subject, but I hope this rough pass over the issue answers your question for the moment. You know, in school we were all taught to answer the questions, but I invite you and every breathworker, to question the answers. Unfortunately, there are really no authorities to turn to on this matter. And it is awfully tempting to paint over the issue with a single stroke of a broad moral brush. But things are only black and white on the surface. It is so neat and convenient to take a hard strong stand on things like sex. It gives one the sense—the illusion—of security, safety, and predictability, even though as my friend Paul Lowe wisely reminds us: “There are no such states in this dimension!” 
I’ll end with this fact in reality, a fact that many of today’s self-appointed, self-righteous authorities in the breathing movement wish wasn’t true. It is that Leonard Orr, Stan Grof, and many other original and current leaders in the breathing movement (including me), have not only had sex with a breathing client, but we actually married one! 
And if you ask what I have personally learned from my experience in this respect, I can say that together with the teachings of Babaji and the Divine Mother, I’ve learned the most about life and the world, about myself and others, by simply surrendering to love, to the beloved in me and the beloved in you.